Well hell...

So I woke up this morning at 6:30- my only morning I have to sleep in. What the hell?

Decided to just get out of bed, make some coffee, and figure out what to do today.

Let's see, Derek's grandmother's 90th birthday party is today...and they decided it will be a surprise party.

Really?

Does anyone think its a good idea to bring a 90 year old woman into her home only to have 200 hillbillies yell at her?

I hope she'll be ok.

Anyway, I decided to check my mail, b/c that's what I do...and there it was: spam.

Spam as a comment on a blog post.

Fuckity fuck fuck.

So folks, I have now enabled word ver for comments. Sorry. I hate it too, but not as much as I hate thinking someone (anonymous) is advertising for generic viagra on my blog.

Fuckers!

Oh wait, if they're advertising for viagra, they probably aren't fuckers :)

Your opinions please....

Yesterday I was...bored.

I worked from 5-10, went for a long walk, came home and cleaned up the house a bit. I need to clean the basement where Derek tore it apart to hook up the gas line for the new stove, but I didn't have it in me for two very good reasons:
Number one- I didn't make the mess.
Number two- I didn't make the mess.
But let's face it- I'll be the one cleaning it up...just not yesterday.

So I thought, well I'll get some things done around this joint that DON'T involve cleaning the basement.

I went to Menards and bought two brand spanking new rakes with which to rake the yard, and a new light for the kids bath. The old one was lovely- brass and frosted glass that I'm pretty sure came from someone else's great grandmother's homestead.

I can install new lighting. I can splice electrical wires together, split cable, install a switch box, and basically do a lot of crap. My expertise stems from my many years as the assistant in our home renovations, and the 3 years we had a house rabbit named Elliott who ate every fucking cord in sight- and even those not in sight (case in point: when he burrowed into the ground under our woodpile and chewed thru the cable line to the house...yeah).

While I can install them, I can't do it alone- someone else has to hold the damn light fixture itself so I can have two free hands to wind the ground wire and the other wires together.
I'd have to wait for Max.

I glanced at the clock- surely Max would be home from school in a few minutes, right?
Wrong.
It was only 1:00!!! How could it only be 1:00?
Sigh. I could feel the boredom, and hence the snacking sneaking up on me.

So I did what I never do, and yet should: I grabbed my camera bag and headed out the door to find...something. Anything to photograph.

This is what I found:



I know, right? Can you believe this was just sitting there?
I was psyched and when I get that way, I usually just snap snap snap and get the hell out. I mean SOMEONE owns that property. And in the little burg I was in, I'll wager that someone owns a fucking shotgun and knows how to use it.
But I took my time. looked for angles and lighting and shot. And I'm pretty pleased with the outcome (enlarge to be sufficiently impressed).

So I came home feeling smug and happy with myself.

Max got home and we installed the light....flipped the switch and...the middle fucking light didn't work! Three lights, middle one doesn't light.
Sadly for me, I know what means it means take it back down, pack it back up, and take it back to Menards.

FUCK!!!

But I did and we got it installed and it looks nice...thank you very much.

Oh- your opinion!!! Yes....
what do you think of the photo?
Should it be less grungy? more grungy?
Darker? lighter?
I was thinking of a sx70s look...like all your home photos from your parents first instant camera.
Or a washed out look with a Polaroid edge?

sigh. I'm unsure...so I'm asking you all for your help.
Thanks in advance.

Stuff I'm thinking about on a Monday morning...and other things that will make the title of this post ridiculously long...

~Yesterday I make some pumpkin muffins. They are supposed to be healthy, but when you add the struessel topping, I think it negates the healthy properties of the baked good.

Who cares though! Look how lovely they look- the convection aspect of this oven just does wonders for baked goods....ahhh. I love my new stove!

~Halloween was good- sort of. Weather was nice and we had polite, well costumed kids- no big kids out ruining the little kids' fun or anything. Our first little trick or treater must have been about 4 and was dressed as Buzz Lightyear- an awesome costume!

Now my brother lives in a small town...but he lives in a beautiful house on a beautiful block in a small town that is mostly shrouded in poverty. He said they lost count at 250 trick or treaters! Sadly though, a lot of adults came to the door saying they were trick or treating for their child who was in the car. Hmmmm....I'd have had a hard time not kicking the shit out of those people. He said cars were parked up and down the boulevard. I think they must live in the 'rich' part of town (meaning the two blocks of town that doesn't use rebel flags and princess sheets for window treatments) and everyone descends upon them What do they think they're handing out, $100 bills?

~My dog, Ford, is an ancient black lab. He has bad hips and bad gas. But we love him immensely. Right now he's asleep next to me while I work/blog and has a nose whistle.

WTF?

~I think I'm getting tricked by the grocery store (bear with me)...So I go to the store and buy a weeks worth of groceries. THEN about 3 days later they advertise a sale of things like Tombstone pizzas- 4 for $10, and pop- $5 for a case of Coke products. So I go...and $100 later, I'm leaving the damn store. Keep in mind that 3 days earlier I spent almost $200!

I guarantee that in a few days they'll run another sale that will pull me back in for something else.

And don't try to tell me I should have more self-control. I refuse to believe that. I only believe they are tricking me.

Of course that means the grocery chain is smarter than me...I better rethink this whole thing.

~ I have a million things to do today and a terrible headache with which to do it. I know its just the change in the weather and all the rain, but boy its a killer! Which means, knowing myself like I do, I'll get some stuff done until about noon and then end up laying on the couch being mad at myself for being lazy.

I think that sums up my thoughts for the time being...have a good week :)

p.s. not enough of you commented on the video of Sonseed....come on now, that is good stuff!

Holy crap...

Max found this on YouTube-

and yes, as a matter of fact, he spends

way too much time cruising that damn website.

Anyway, he MADE me watch it and

aside from laughing uncontrolably,

I don't know what to make of it. Its just too much.

I LOVE the other guitar player...rock that song Uncle Rico!

Oh Sonseed...you are the most entertaining

christian rock band ever :)

The new stove?

Yeah...its not hooked up yet. Derek was too tired to attempt it last night. He has two closings yesterday and one of them got fucked up by the title company (who across the board are a bunch of 'tards) and pushed back 6 hours. So their delay caused me a cooking delay. Assholes.

So this morning Derek came downstairs and asked me to help him with his suspenders......

Suspenders.

I'm sorry, your what?

My suspenders.

Come again?

See my husband has no butt- its just not fair really. But it seems his pants slide down and he's sick of hiking them up. Well, ok, I don't want him going around with plumbers butt either, but were suspenders the only choice? I mean, he's only 36...I think you have to be 86 before you're allowed to wear suspenders. Or Robin Williams.

I guess I was mistaken.

Right now he's beating the living shit out of something in the basement. I'm working, I mean, blogging, and keeping close tabs on him for you.

I'm sure he knows what he's doing...I hope he knows what he's doing. But I also know his motto in life is this: "if some pot smoking loser can do (whatever the job) then I certainly can."

I just went downstairs and Derek has removed the drywall in front of the utility part of the office down there. I think all the noise was him unceremoniously dumping all the crap from the book shelf on to the floor. I'll give you three guesses as to who ends up cleaning that up. Oh sure, I'll bet you're thinking that's the least I could do considering he's doing all the hard work- but what you don't know is that is 6 minutes I get done working and I am officially the assistant' from that point on.

I'll be paying for this- don't worry.

I'd better wrap this up- Derek is muttering to himself and that usually signals the beginning of the real work. Gotta get some clothes on (I'm in my pjs, perverts) and get ready to help.

Anyway, that's how this project started...we'll see how it progresses. I'll update as it goes and I'll even post a picture of something lovely I make in the oven. Because I love you all...but not in that way.

Ok, actually I do love you in that way.

Updates to the updates...

Only because Elliott was kind enough to remind me, I'm updating you on various stupid things in my life :)

~ We ended up getting a brand new stove! Its so awesome and I'm so happy. Well, I'll be happier when its hooked up and working, but it shore looks perty sitting in my kitchen right now.

We debated on the whole used stove route (for monetary reasons) and cheap electric (again b/c of $$) and finally Derek claimed that from now on we weren't doing anything to the house that would not ADD value. Being in the real estate biz he sees home after home in which people throw good money after bad and he just feels its wasting money. So he actually did a market analysis of our home and decided that getting a nice stove- a nice gas stove- a nice stainless gas stove, was what would add value to our home. It would set it apart b/c not many homes have gas in our price point. Weird huh?

Its super fancy and has 5 burners- the middle one is oblong with a griddle attachment thing for it. Its convection too. I have never used a convection oven- I hope it isn't too weird b/c I'm excited about it and plan to use it often. I researched it a bit and its looking like there might some math involved...

~ My anxiety/depression/craziness has slowed a bit. I'm going to hold off on the meds for a bit. I really appreciate everyone's input- honest. My plan is to actually exercise every day, schedule my time a bit more, and try some St. John's Wort in the mean time. I think being so relaxed right now- which a nice way of saying I don;t have a lot going on- is the reason I feel so much at loose ends.

I'll let you know how it goes. With the holidays' coming up...i might be burning this mother down at any time.

~ the kids are all back in school after fall breaks, so maybe my exercise can become more regular and less sporadic. I hate Jillian Michael's, but I am telling you- her work outs get you in shape fast! I did end up losing a few pounds, but I recently found my tape measure and I;'m going to track my inches lost too- I think that might be the key to keeping me motivated.

~ Last night Max and his friend took Max's truck to get a car wash- and they both forgot their backpacks were in the bed of the truck. Luckily, the books inside were fine. What a couple of 'tards.

That's it! Did I miss anything?

Funny funny funny stuff...and something serious

Ok, my daughter Kate told me I HAVE to watch the new show Modern Family. I HAVE to! Then I remembered one of my bloggy friends...maybe Bev, or Mala, or Anonymous....said the same thing! Must be a good show right? All these people I like telling me to watch it?

Wrong.

It was the BEST show ever! I'm not kidding, it might be my new favorite show. Its entirely possible that its b/c its so much like my own family that I almost had diet coke come out of my nose...it might be b/c I laughed out loud too many times, while watching alone...and it might be b/c its just pure genius.

Please, for all of our sakes, watch the show.

On a very serious note, does anyone out there watch MadMen? And if not, why the hell NOT?!?

Oh dear lord, it was sooooo good last night! So good that by the end, Derek and I were both sitting up in bed and Derek kept saying 'holy shit'...and he NEVER gets into any Tv like that!

Jon Hamm and January Jones were stellar- and I mean exceptional in the big scene. Just unlike anything you ever ever get on television. Its Broadway meets Oscar winner meets the best-damn-book-you'll-ever-read all rolled into one. Ahhh, as a lit major, I just live for the dialogue, the foreshadowing, the symbolism and the personification of a decade... and as a drama queen, I live for the rest.

I'll say it again: sexiest, sleekest, most charismatic show on television...and do I really need to remind you how fucking smoking hot Don Draper is? Or Roger Sterling (with the best one liners and commentary of any character in the show)?

It oozes sexiness and sexism... family values and possibly the most amoral attitudes ever...smoking and drinking for sport...and it is absolutely perfect.